They had to really dumb down my martial art skills. Because I’m a 10th degree black belt in every martial art. I did Kung Fu when I was, I think, in like third grade. So I was pretty much qulified to kick ass in space.

guystud:

*has a bag of sour gummy worms* hey you want one *you go to grab a blue-red one* *I immediately stop you* no not that one

janefoster:

basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”

hyperspaceprincess:

when youre desperate to see if someone is hot

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threelisabeth:

so sorry for my delayed response to this email, i have been very swamped being a confused and frightened idiot who can’t do basic life tasks like respond to her emails

I’m going to murder you a thousand times.

noemail:

snoop dog going around in a blonde bob wig telling people he’s a white man named Todd is the best piece of performance art of 2014

shouldnt:

I AM SO EXCITED TO WEAR SWEATERS AGAIN

as-seenon-tv:

I’ve never met Chris Pratt but I trust him

HW