They had to really dumb down my martial art skills. Because I’m a 10th degree black belt in every martial art. I did Kung Fu when I was, I think, in like third grade. So I was pretty much qulified to kick ass in space.
*has a bag of sour gummy worms* hey you want one *you go to grab a blue-red one* *I immediately stop you* no not that one
basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”
when youre desperate to see if someone is hot
so sorry for my delayed response to this email, i have been very swamped being a confused and frightened idiot who can’t do basic life tasks like respond to her emails
I’m going to murder you a thousand times.
snoop dog going around in a blonde bob wig telling people he’s a white man named Todd is the best piece of performance art of 2014